


Snuff

by deathandelirium



Series: Demons and Classic Rock [3]
Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Dean Winchester Has Issues, Emotional Hurt, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Heartbreak, Hunter!Reader, Hurt No Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I cried writting, Mentions of hell, Mild Smut, Past Relationship(s), Reader-Insert, Snuff by Slipknot, Songfic, You can feel the love and pain, dean cries, mentions of trauma, very mild, you cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25638649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathandelirium/pseuds/deathandelirium
Summary: You and Dean had something, not official, but real.Dean went to Hell, you suffered, you cried, you tried to move on. Just to find out he was living with another woman when you thought he'd look for you.(this goes around season 3/4)Inspired by the song Snuff by Slipknot.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean Winchester/You, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Series: Demons and Classic Rock [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859953
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	Snuff

**Author's Note:**

> So, the events on this fic happened before my other one, CrowHunter, but it's essentially the same universe.  
> I thought about making it a chapter in there but it didn't really work. 
> 
> What happened to make you and Dean fall apart?
> 
> (also i highly recommend listening to the song that inspired me, Snuff by Slipknot)

A brunette opened the door – Lisa. You didn’t hate her, you felt nothing about her actually, it was not her fault.

“Can I help you?” she looked confused, of course, it was late and you were a total stranger.

“Yeah, I’m… ahm… is Dean Winchester here?” your legs were trembling, part of you still afraid this was a setup. He couldn’t be back, he would have looked for you. Wouldn’t he?

The few moments she went inside the house felt to you like a lifetime. You could feel your heart racing, your lungs filling with air, your head dizzy.

“Hi, how can I ... - “ Dean stopped when he saw who was looking back at him, now your tears had the best of you. “(Y/N)” his voice lowered some tones, closing the door behind him.

“How could you? I was there” the tears now being replaced with anger. “I mourned you, Winchester, I cried, I BURIED YOU” all you could do now was hit him, so you did you started to hit him over his chest until you lose all your strength, almost falling on your knees before him. Dean held you, looking around to see if any noisy neighbors were looking at you.

“We need to talk, get in the car” he signaled to your car on the driveway, sitting you on the passenger’s seat before running inside the house again. In a few minutes he was driving, you still in shock, crying.

Dean parked the car on a side road, dark and empty. You could see the stars.

“How long?” your voice cracked.

“A year, a little less” Dean was looking at the knuckles of his fingers, white, on the dashboard of your car. You got out and screamed, screamed ‘til you felt your lungs fail, until you felt your throat hurt. Dean runs to you, holding you close to him, suffocating you on his scent, on his arms. You tried to run away from him, still screaming, furious. “I’m sorry” he kissed your forehead, tears burning his eyes.

“I was there when you died Dean, I still hear the sounds of the hell hounds when they got you, I still hear your screams…” Fighting was useless now, you felt weak and dizzy. You just let your head fall on Dean’s chest. “I spent the last year killing everything I could put my hands on, angry. I still went to every damn motel room and cried, holding your old jacket… Praying, hoping, trying to make deals, anything to have you back…”

“What did you do?” Dean’s voice was deep, sad. You get away from his arms, cleaning your face.

“Nothing Dean, I just… I couldn’t face life anymore, not like before, not without you. My heart died the moment that Hell hound dragged you… And now I watch you here, living life like nothing ever happened with her…” you breathed in again, _oh god_

“(Y/N)… let me explain…” he began but you shook you head.

“Please don’t, just… don’t even try. It took me everything to let you go” Dean held your arms again, he looked desperate.

“I can’t lose you like that… I realized the only path we got together is Hell, my only path is Hell… I can’t do that to you”

“Is that supposed to comfort me?” you laugh, ironically. “I’m a hunter, Winchester, Hell is my path either with or without you, don’t pity my soul”

“I love you…” Dean whispered, bringing you close again “I’ve loved you since we were kids, I’d loved you in Hell, I love you… I just, I never said I was a saint but I... I can't bring myself to hurt you”

“Save your breath for Lisa…” your words spit venom on him “My love was buried on that shallow grave…” Dean could see the pain in your eyes, you were lying. You could feel Dean’s breath close to your lips now, tears falling in his eyes and yours. “Let me go…” your words were weak, your last attempt of not falling into temptation again, as he kissed you.

Dean’s lips were soft and urgent against yours, all pain, all love, all you’ve missed. You found yourself again on his arms, you drink your life from his kiss, he was yours, he was alive. Your hands pulled the hairs from the back of his neck, playfully, as Dean sit you on the hood of the car, never breaking the kiss, his hands worked under your t-shirt now, removing it as you removed his. There was not a single rational thought on your head, all you could feel was Dean’s lips on your neck and chest, your hands on his back and shoulders. You felt he groan when he noticed your arousal, biting lightly the nap of your neck as you opened his jeans and stroke his erection a few times before he held your wrists beside your head, kissing you again.

The moment you felt him into you all you did was moan, craving your fingernails on his arm, you missed him more than you wanted to show. Your hips started to move slowly, enjoying the sensation of having him in you again. You look into his eyes as both of you hit your climax, it was calm, silent, loving. Dean kissed your face and lips again before letting you go from his arms, chanting _“I love you, I’m sorry”_ a dozen times.

The way back to Lisa’s was silent, you were driving and a song was low on the radio. Dean was muttering something about fixing things up and he’d meet you. You just couldn’t indulge yourself again in the illusion. The moment he was out of the car you step on the pedal, you could not say goodbye to him again. Looking at him through the rearview mirror, screaming for you, you let yourself cry.

“ **Goodbye Dean.”**

**Author's Note:**

> Did you cry? I cried.


End file.
